Reeve Tuesti's Journal
by Linwe Tinuviel
Summary: I feel sorry for Reeve sometimes, and I wonder if he feels as left-out as it seems? No language, no adult concepts, just a bit of light angst. Since I didn't get all of what I wanted yet, this may end up being chaptered.


I wonder, sometimes, if even they know how I feel… They who call me "friend," do they mean it when they say it? I can't tell. I know the people of Midgar don't appreciate me, though the little cat-puppet has endeared itself to them well enough. I don't suppose it has occurred to them, those people who still hold me partially responsible for all that has happened to them in the last few years, that it is me and a facet of my personality behind the charming puppet. Of course not. The puppet is cute, something I would not aspire to, even if I could. People love cute.

Of course, I counted on that when I approached they who were then my enemies. I wanted them to pay attention to the cute little fortune-teller, to ignore why it insisted on following them around. It seems that desire has paid off far too well, almost as if we were separate entities. Even my comrades have this problem, to a degree. Of course, Cait Sith accompanies them on some adventures because I am far too busy to go myself, or because I am still, after all these adventures, not suited to combat. Of all of the people I consider my dearest friends, only Vincent Valentine seems to like me more as myself, probably because he doesn't much tolerate frivolity of any kind. Odd how people keep pairing him with the most frivolous of our group, but there's no accounting for the tastes of the masses.

But that isn't why I'm writing all this. If I can't even be confrontational in my own journal, why am I so surprised at people's tendencies to fit me into the background? As a well-meaning but ineffectual member of a hostile board, I suppose I learned how to fade away as a self-defense mechanism. Holy knows I didn't want the full attention of any of my fellow board members, since I was the only one with a soul, or so it seemed. But I stepped up after the whole Meteor incident and took charge then. My experience in urban issues made me the natural choice. What that amounted to was me doing all the administrative nonsense and Vincent and Yuffie being the faces of the WRO. Not that I want to be a figurehead; I have to have something to do or I'd go mad.

What is my problem, then? Clearly, if I'm relegated to a supporting position, it is my own fault; why do I feel so misused? My friends have given me no reason to. Certainly, if Vincent, at least, knew I felt so bad, he would reassure me. He has, though not in so many words, in the past. He makes it clear that I am his friend, and I feel honored to be so. But is he honored or even grateful to be mine? Is anyone? Or do they just take me for granted, always expecting me to be there? What would happen if I wasn't, one day, if I just decided to leave?

Maybe that's it, then. Not misused, just forgotten and underappreciated. I didn't expect to be appreciated in Shinra, but I have been trying to make a difference now. It would be nice to have someone acknowledge that. I freely admit that a lot of what kept Edge going was the resilience that all humans seem to possess, but I helped, and everyday life would be a whole lot harder without me and my rebuilding projects.

After getting all of this down, I do feel a bit better. But what is going to change? How long can I take being ignored before I totally crack and just abandon them all to their fates? I could never be Sephiroth and destroy the world, but one day they may find out how much they do need me.

**Author's Note: **When I thought of this, it was a lot angrier, but it doesn't stay in character, even as internal ranting, when it's angry, because Reeve is quite intelligent enough to realize that if he is overlooked, it's his own fault. Anyway, the intent got across anyway. Oh, and it's kind of rambly deliberately, so no grammar Nazi-ing, please! :)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Reeve Tuesti. If I did, I'd try to take better care of him. I wouldn't want the Shinra board if you gave 'em to me. Any character here is the property of Square-Enix. Well, except me. I'm my own.


End file.
